When God wants more…

Lemme start by bringing you up to speed on Lent two weeks in.

The lack of poultry, beef and pork has resulted in B-12 deficiency. For me. Jeff seems to be okay. And I eat a lot of fish too. But despite increasing other food items higher in the nutrient in my diet, yeah, I’m deficient. I was tired. Which I expected. I had headaches. Also expected. Then I started with vertigo. Not expected. So today I headed to the pharmacy to get a B-12 supplement. And I already feel better so there’s that.

Also, it snowed here Sunday. It also all melted same day but it snowed. I headed to Mass in rain and then about half way there, I realized it wasn’t raining anymore. It was snow. And by the time I got to church, snow was sticking to the ground. Had it been colder and therefore more stuck, it would have been about 3-4 inches. William and I stopped on the way home and got donuts for everyone and I got a latte.

snowman

In case you missed it or you live in a state or part of a state that doesn’t observe it, Sunday also marked the start of DST.

My prayer life, while improving this Lent, still has a lot of room to grow. And last week I got behind on EVERY-BLESSED-THING. It was so not funny. And I kept plugging along but something wasn’t right. I wasn’t giving up, but I wasn’t gaining ground either. I was stuck as to what was going on. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Finally, this morning I figured it out.

In addition to fasting from meat, I gave up my personal facebook for Lent. And while that is going pretty well, it’s still a struggle a lot of the time. And today as I continued playing catch up, I read a reflection written by Elizabeth Foss in the Blessed is She Lenten devotional journal, Put on Love. In it, Elizabeth talks about being tied to screens and not being tuned into our family. Yesterday I had an epic day with the snow, Mass, donuts, and a lot of good family time (a lot of it planning for a big trip we were surprisingly gifted Saturday). It wasn’t lost on me that I was more plugged into both God and my family and less to technology. As I read the words and reflected, I realized that facebook wasn’t enough. God was asking for me. He wanted me to give up all personal social media. Boom.

This mainly means snapchat and instagram. Today I deleted both off my devices. This is going to hurt. I was really enjoying the Blessed is She instastories. I was also loving hearing from friends who only use snapchat. But God wanted more.

Greatness, in God’s eyes, means sacrifice and humility. Well, the humility was there this time. I knew I needed God more and when He told me the sacrifice I would have to make…I sighed. I won’t lie, I totally sighed. But I did it.

Lent has been, in the past, a time for me to realize what an awesome fail-er I am. This year, I’m learning lots of interesting things about myself. And God. And our relationship. I’m finally able to do lots of hard things. Things I’ve struggled with and failed at so often in the past. God’s timeline is always so radically different than mine and I’m seeing that again. I’m learning how much humility works to my advantage. And how weak I am and how much I need Him. His guidance has brought me to places I never knew existed. Being open to Him and submitting when God wants more is a wild ride. But I encourage everyone to pray and listen and see what God wants. And to be ready to submit beyond your comfort zone, because this is where trust begins.

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