Yesterday was, um, interesting. Exhausting. Angsty. And for no reason whatsoever.
I mean, I had Rage Against the Machine’s Bulls on Parade on really loud on my ear buds on repeat. Yes, this Bulls on Parade.
See, I think it’s a combination of politics and people that’s getting to me and extremism on every side is to be avoided as far as I’m concerned so I start to get angry and kind of extremist in my avoiding extremism and Bulls on Parade happens.
I’m kind of over people right now. I’m over the pushy ones who can’t keep an opinion to themselves. I’m over everyone trying to out-shout each other. I’m over the Bible and Jesus being props on social media. I’m done.
This week started rough. Anytime I don’t make it to Mass is very rough. To not make it and have the flu…then Monday morning I watched the funeral Mass for Joseph’s Godmother’s Grandmother. It was in Northern Ireland so I watched it streamed on my laptop. I spent it in tears. I only met the woman once and it was such an ugly cry, especially when one of her daughter’s got up and delivered an impactful eulogy.
Tuesday I had to work and it was a long, slow, boring shift. The kind I usually can’t wait to get sent home early during but, since it’s my only shift all week, I prayed I wouldn’t.
Yesterday I guess I was due for the emotional blow up. And still it caught me off guard. I had planned to attend Tenebrae with Joseph at our parish last night and I realized about halfway through the day that it was just going to be too late. I said on Google+ that I needed a break.
Then this morning, Triduum happened. And suddenly, things are much, much better. There is an intensity about these three days that I love. Long, drawn out wears me down. The quick, pull-the-bandaid off is much more my style. It smarts something awful but it’s over more quickly AND the reward more immediate. I’m feeling less connected to humans and more connected to God and it feels as though order is restored. And that is magnificent.
Triduum is such a welcome break right now. And I’m hoping others can see it as well. This year we’re staying home. Tonight is Holy Thursday Mass at parish 3 of 3. Joseph will be with me and fingers crossed William hasn’t had his typical pre-holiday meltdown (think Llama Llama Holi-drama) so he can go as well. Tomorrow will be Veneration (possible at home Stations but we’ll see how that develops) at parish 3 of 3. Saturday we get our food blessed at parish 2 of 3. Then the plan is Saturday night for Joseph and I to attend the Easter Vigil. William can’t do that yet, and it’s fine, he has a whole year to prepare. William wants to attend a sunrise Mass (6:30 AM) at the Basilica. It’s a nice thought, but we’ll see.
Yes, these three days of relative quiet and prayer…it sounds almost too good to be true and here we go.