Entourage: The Movie (because sometimes I get suckered into watching douche-y movies about douche-y guys)

If you want to skip this blog post feel free, I just gotta get it out there and be done with it.

Back when Entourage was on tv, we didn’t have cable at all so, therefore, I only saw edited second-run on late night (after 11) tv reruns. And it was…okay. Not the great show I expected but I figured a lot was edited out, so, whatevs.

If you’re still with me, Entourage was the HBO series starring Jeremy Piven and Adrian Grenier based very loosely on actor Mark Wahlberg’s real life agent and “entourage” of friends/family that ran for eight seasons. Grenier played the Wahlberg based character actor Vincent Chase and Jeremy Piven played Vincent’s agent Ari Gold who was based on Wahlberg’s real life agent, Ari Emanuel. The other characters, Johnny Drama, Turtle and E are based on Wahlberg’s real life cousin, gofer and manager/best friend. Of these, Drama is the closest to his real-life counterpart based on the real Johnny Drama who fans of the reality based Wahlburgers show will know.

After the series ended, a movie was conceptualized. A movie that pretty much didn’t need to be made. The series accomplished pretty much everything it set out to do, but as Hollywood is wont to do, they decided to milk whatever else they could out of the popular series.

I basically watched the series for reasons and by reasons I’m sure you will understand were Adrian Grenier and Jeremy Piven. And I tolerated a lot of crap. Like the fact that these guys were total douchebags. Piven was the typical a-hole agent. Grenier and his crew were complete typical young-Hollywood stereotypes.

In the movie Vincent is making his first movie as star and director and Gold is now a studio head. And the movie co-stars Vincent’s brother Drama and is ballooning in costs. The biggest financial backer is a wealthy Texan Larsen McCredle played by Billy Bob Thornton and his son, Travis, played by Haley Joel Osment. Osment plays what he plays best, a whiny brat who always gets his way and stamps his foot and lies when he doesn’t.

Travis tries to derail the movie when he becomes jealous of Vincent and Vincent’s relationship with Emily Ratajkowski (playing herself). Ultimately the movie gets made, the way the guys want it but Ari is in a bit of a holding pattern as to what to do next (retire, again?!).

Jeff wanted to watch it on HBO which we have never had before and which we often forget we have (the reason we have the package is because we only upgraded to it because we wanted Cartoon Network). That was weird because he had no interest in the series. Ever. We immediately got into an argument about the character of Drama. He said it was Matt Dillon playing the character and I said it wasn’t so he said that it was “one of the Dillons.” Turns out we were both right. It was Kevin Dillon, Matt’s less famous brother.

We both felt like the film was a last gasp for fans and if I had been a huge fan before, I would have felt very let down by it. The guys showed very little, if any growth. And the character of Travis was so obnoxious I felt like puking whenever I saw his smug little face. The fact that the actors in the main cast aside from Piven have virtually vanished from our consciousness since the show ended (in 2011) appears to have been an additional impetus for the movie. And Piven would have done better to leave Ari Gold behind, having since re-igniting his career in the ITV/Masterpiece production of Mr. Selfridge as the titular character.

If you haven’t seen this movie, don’t. And if you loved the series, especially don’t.