Because the Holy Spirit has been all up in my grill about this…

Something has been repeatedly in my face over the last two weeks. It is: Trusting in the Lord and asking only His will and acceptance of it.

So, it started when I read this. While it deals with marriage, it raises the larger question: when we ask God to do His will are we truly willing to accept that will? And moreover is our prayer designed to try and make God bend His will to our desire? It’s a real thinker. 

Then this quote appeared for the feast day of St Pius X:

My hope is in Christ, who strengthens the weakest by His Divine help. I can do all in Him who strengthens me. His Power is infinite, and if I lean on him, it will be mine. His Wisdom is infinite, and if I look to Him for counsel, I shall not be deceived. His Goodness is infinite, and if my trust is stayed in Him, I shall not be abandoned.

– Pope Saint Pius X (1835-1914), Feast day August 21

“…and if my trust is stayed in Him, I shall not be abandoned.” Those words pierced my heart. Trusting God. Knowing His will is perfect and mine is not.

That same day, this scrolled in my feed from the K-Love Morning Show:

K Love Psalm 62So, through an article on marriage, a saint, and sacred Scripture, God was sending me a very clear message. Ask, but trust.

The very next day, the K-Love Morning Show delivered this beautiful but simple prayer:

K Love 2So, here was a key…admitting I had failed often but asking Jesus to help me to obey this will that was not my own.

And the knock-out punch, the cast-iron skillet to the back of my thick head was this quote from St Jane Frances de Chantal I came across randomly:

“If we patiently accept through love all that God allows to happen, then we will begin to taste even here on earth something of the delights the saints experience in heaven. But for this we must serve God willingly and lovingly, seeking to obey the Divine Will rather than to follow our own inclinations and desires. For the perfection of love demands that we desire for ourselves only whatever God wills. Let us implore the good God unceasingly to grant us this grace!”

~~ St. Jane Frances de Chantal

Yeah Kristen, pray for it and don’t stop. Ask God to unceasingly give me the grace to accept His will and reject my own. And stop having doubts. Heck, pray for the doubts to subside so that you can have help in that. Ask for the intercession of Pope Saint Pius X and St Jane Frances de Chantal. Pray for strength to endure.

God is a god of love and mercy and compassion. It is impossible for His will to cause us any harm or pain, but turning from it almost certainly does both. No matter what, it always isolates us from Him. As if that deepest pain were not enough, it can always cause us more immediate pain emotionally, psychologically and physically. Willful deviation from God’s will is a sin of pride. A sin of thinking we know better than God what is right. It is a sin that I know very well. It is a sin I struggle with and against daily. 

Right now we are very uncertain with the house being on the market and possibly moving. I’ve been praying for a quick sale, but it’s looking less and less likely. I made the huge change to switch parishes during this time which seemed so silly according to the world’s eyes, but I knew it was God’s will. And I kept second guessing what would happen.But eventually God revealed that the house selling process wouldn’t go entirely how we had planned and we would remain in our home for a little while longer. And once we do move, this new parish will be the same distance we are now, just coming from a different way. My doubt was downright foolish. In addition I was apprehensive as to how the new school-year would unfold. I had in my mind that moving over summer was the only possible thing to do, but I realize now God is asking me to trust Him and His ways and timing. That by clinging to Him, I will receive grace and I will not be abandoned. 

Thanks again, Holy Spirit.

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Because the Holy Spirit has been all up in my grill about this…

Comments are closed.