Grief

Back when I worked in corporate America, I had a friend. She and I weren’t “normal friends” we shared a bond. That bond? Infertility. We endured many grueling rounds of “trying” I ended up in surgery, she was trying Clomid and all it’s lovely side-effects.

No one was more excited than she was when I got pregnant with Shelby and it “took” (we were also no strangers to miscarriage). She was always ready with a ginger ale or piece of hard candy while I endured HG. She was a stylist and would massage my scalp to relax me on breaks. And when I had a bleeding hemrrhoid toward the end and was on blood thinners, she told my supervisor I needed to go to the doctor and I shouldn’t come back til after the baby was born.

I had 3 children in 3 years. She and her husband remained childless but once I had kids, it didn’t stop our bond. Together we held hands waiting for every test result she had. When I left the company, we connected on facebook. She left the area last summer for a better position in the company. She enjoyed her new job. And around Christmas, great news. She would FINALLY be a mom.

Here she was, a beautiful person who deserved all of life’s happiness finally getting to be a mother! The baby was due in June. It was a boy! I was getting ready to send her a care package in April since I could not attend her baby shower in her new state. I had sent her little “love notes” as she had sent me during my pregnancies. I would often come back from a bathroom break to find a note saying, “You look beautiful!” or “Your baby is so blessed to have you!” I sent her emails and facebook messages.

Today I got a facebook message from Joseph’s Godmother that said, “have you heard?” When I said no, she replied with our friend’s name at first. My heart sank. No way, no, she couldn’t have lost her baby boy! Nothing so bad. I was right, it wasn’t so bad, it was worse. Details are slow in coming as some family members are still being notified but there was an emergency. Her son was delivered early. He did not make it. Neither did she.

In these days of technology and safety, a mother and baby were lost. It makes no sense to most. But God must have a greater plan. He must. So many of us are heartbroken to lose her. Heartbroken for her husband who will bury his wife and son. Heartbroken for the extended but close family she was part of who cannot fathom losing her. Her kindness was legendary. Her smile beautiful. I have spent much time in prayer today for her and her son’s souls. I will never forget her. She was an unexpected friend and sister-in-struggle God gave me to help me through rough times. I hope I was able to help her as well.

God, thank you for the gift of this friend and her friendship. RIP sweet girl and baby boy.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Grief

Comments are closed.