So, I found this hilarious post today. And it made me reflect on what I’ve said as a parent that has shocked me.
“He’s your brother, the only one you’ve got, so you better be nice to him.” ~said frequently to Joey when he is mean to Will
“Poop goes in a diaper or the potty, nowhere else.” ~said to all three children at some point
“I know the dog likes your food, that doesn’t mean it is good for him.” ~mostly to the boys and mostly to Joey
“I know you NEED a cookie and I NEED a golden toilet, but neither of us is getting one of those, so we can stop crying now.” ~said to Joey who was in the midst of a tantrum about getting a cookie when we didn’t have any in the house. I’m not sure why I chose a “golden toilet” except it was outrageous and he knows what a toilet is.
“Wow, it looks like Category 1 came through here.” ~said one morning when I came in to find Shelby’s entire dresser emptied of its contents, all her shelves bare, and her bed stripped to the mattress. I’m a lousy housekeeper and couldn’t keep my room clean to save my life as a kid, so for me to make a statement like this… oh and I never imagined living so close to a beach that a hurricane would figure into my metaphors (or similies English majors).
“Did you poop? (child says no) Are you sure? (child says ‘not sure’) Well if you’re not sure if you pooped or not I have to check…(child tells me there is poop in his diaper but it is not his, it is the baby’s. the baby is two months from being born).” ~said to Joey circa March of 2009, two months before Will was born and Joey was already blaming things on his little brother
“Daddy told you you could go outside in the rain? Go find Daddy and tell him I need to talk to him.” ~said to two little boys found putting their shoes on during a torrential downpour. Daddy was not at home at the time. I figured I would outsmart them on this one. They actually went looking around the house for Daddy.
“Can I please use the potty for one minute?” ~said to all three children at some point
“I know you want a piece of chocolate too, but please don’t strain and try to force yourself to pee.” ~said to Will
“Batteries are NOT candy!” ~said to Will when I caught him putting the batteries from the remote into his mouth
I think this list is indicative that I have boys. I think there would be a lot more said like was mentioned in the original post if Shelby fully grasped that being a girl meant make-up and dress shoes etc. So here we are in Mommyland, fully aware that you can never tell what you might come up against next, or how you will respond to it!