Be Still, and know that I am God

Okay, I want the whole world to know that I am TOTALLY 1000% behind Katherine on this one…without facebook, I typically have very little interaction with anyone over the age of four/five. I am, in a way, a hermit.  I miss a lot of people right now. People I didn’t expect to miss as much as I do. But I am sticking with this. If it kills me and my social life, I’m sticking with it (by the way I fully suspect my friend count to be close to zero by Easter).

The loneliness has seemed more acute now because, well, on Tuesday Jeff cancelled our satellite (just in time for Lent) and since Wednesday all or at least one child has been sick and Shelby hasn’t been to school since then. So, except for Jeff being home this weekend, I’ve really had little adult interaction.

When Jeff is here, I don’t seem to notice that most of my social life is with toddlers. But during the weeks when he is gone, it can get rather trying to realize I’m having the same conversation for the fifth time during the day about why we put our shoes up when we take them off.

This time also makes me value my good friends even more. Not that I’m regularly taking them for granted, but it does help to be reminded the level of sanity they provide in my life!

As I have spent these first few days of Lent without the luxury of facebook (I did exist for many years prior to it, I am reminded now), I find myself realizing more than ever that the emptiness we feel as humans in our souls is most completely and ONLY filled by God. It allows me to open myself up to God in ways I haven’t in quite some time (since having children would be an accurate time assumption). The prayers I am saying, the novenas, devotions are bringing me closer to God and further from myself. I do not for a second believe that facebook has ever brought me further away from God, but I believe I allowed myself to try and fill the voids with things like facebook, twitter and even blogging that could never fill them as God does.

I find this time to be my stillness as it were. My time to just be and know that God is there and not constantly petition but appreciate what He has done for me, in me and through me. I know that orthodox Catholics with a capital “O” have an aversion to Marty Haugen, but I feel that his rendition of the 95th Psalm describes how I feel during these times of preparation, Advent and more fully Lent, “For you O Lord, my soul in stillness waits. Truly my hope is you.”

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2 thoughts on “Be Still, and know that I am God

  1. Anything that reminds us that our “hearts our restless until they rest in God” (Augustine) is a good thing.

    I do miss my friends on Facebook who are missing for Lent, but I completely understand why they are abstaining. For some it can be a very good thing and, no doubt, would have benefits for me as well. I think one of the things that makes this year even less appealing for such an undertaking is that I am full-term, so I barely get out of the house and it will be that way for a few weeks after the baby is born as well. I also have friends and family who will want to know when this baby arrives who I only keep touch with via Facebook. Maybe next year it will be a good exercise for me.

  2. Great post, Kristen. I am in much the same boat, isolation wise. Steve’s schedule has changed so he doesn’t see the kids 3 days of every week. We’re all having a hard time adjusting to that. But also, my children are not in nursery or preschool, so there are no daily trips and interactions with other parents. We’re also trying to save as much money as we can now so I’ve eliminated any unnecessary driving, keeping us on our 1/4 acre plot for most of the week. All together, it makes a recipe for loneliness. I couldn’t bear to give up facebook at this point in our life, it being my only solid link to friends… and sanity. But I am trying to spend more time in prayer in my days and when times get rough and I feel myself slipping I sing of praise to God, and the kids will join in, too!
    “For you O Lord, my soul in stillness waits. Truly my hope is you.”
    I’ve always loved that line.

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