Love is not love, Which alters when it alteration finds…William Shakespeare

On our wedding Day Sonnet 116 was printed on the back of our programs. Today I have seen any number of quotes about love on facebook. About love involving accepting faults or being willing to change or not asking someone to change. While love may never change according to Shakespeare, our definition of love does change as our lives go on. Children introduce not only the love of being a parent into our lives, but a new kind of love for the mother or father of the child. Illness and struggle, similarly force us to see the people we love in a different way.

And while I never believed that love meant never having to say you’re sorry, I’ve learned that love does mean you learn to say you’re sorry if you are not used to doing so. I’ve learned that love can be tested in sometimes cruel and absurd ways, but real love can see beyond those things and that fighting against the other person vs working with them is fruitless.

Love sometimes means becoming someone you never imagined you would or could be. There may be a time when you are called on to be the strong one when you are used to being the “wreck.” You may become vulnerable in contrast to normally being reserved.

Love is not easy, it is not comfortable, it is not always romance.

Somewhere in all this is my personal definition of love, maybe someday I can condense it down to something pithy and quotable. But until then it will be as complex as love undeniably is.

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