For You O Lord, My Soul in Stillness Waits. Truly, My Hope is in You. ~Ps 98

Life is about trusting God and not always understanding why. I am learning about that now in this season of my life.

A few years ago, I couldn’t have imagined where my life would be today. I certainly never imagined 3 children already or having a special needs child, losing my job, Jeff losing his and many, many other things.

I seem to remember 2008 as being a turning point year in my life. Early in the year we lost Andy and then things seemed to tumble and spiral downward from there. Or maybe upward as we learned that year just how much we would need to rely on God. The year ended with me being pregnant and being told my baby possibly had a life-threatening condition (he didn’t) and Jeff losing his job. A few weeks into the new year, I was out of a job.

I prayed a long novena asking Our Lady of Kibeho for help. I am in an ongoing, lasting forever novena to St Joseph. Eventually, we found a reprieve in medical situations, Shelby’s therapy and I got a job so while Jeff did not have one, at least we could keep our heads above water.

I wrote the other day about Maria and Alex and it is true that we can take comfort that our pain is not all that there is in the world. But there are still dark nights of the soul afoot in our lives. God sometimes doesn’t give immediate answers to prayers. And sometimes the answer is no. Those two things are among the hardest to accept in life.

God, we are waiting as patiently as we can. We know there is no hope, but in You.

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One thought on “For You O Lord, My Soul in Stillness Waits. Truly, My Hope is in You. ~Ps 98

  1. Kristen, I know nothing I can say can make you feel any better, but I wanted to let you know that your post and your plaintive plea to God touched my heart. I am not Catholic, I’m Baptist. I haven’t gone to church regularly since I was in college, but I pray to and feel I have a relationship with God, even though I’ve had my own dark nights of the soul and have questioned, and doubted, and, I’m ashamed to say, even given up on Him (once, for a few months when I battled infertility, I feel guilty now thinking about it). I think feeling that you have no control over what is happening to you can be one of the hardest things to bear. I am praying for you and your family. Hang in there.

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